Liar liar

I feel like shit. Sorry I couldn't come up with a more poetic way to say that but I feel absolutely terrible and I don't know what to do. What do you do when the only person who can make you feel better is the person who is making you feel bad? I hate him sooooo much for making me feel like this. For being inconsiderate and shady and for getting mad at me for being mad.I feel hopeless and alone and scared and out of control. #fml

I Suppose Introductions Are In Order

JaguarRose…

Sucks at relationships

Wonders why everyone is crazy but her

Probably shouldn’t drink

Fucks like a porn star

Parties like a rock star

Wishes you would shut the hell up

Wonders how this keeps happening

Keeps coming back for more

JaguarRose is…

Coming undone

Off her medication

A writer

A wuss

A warrior princess

Beauty and the beast all rolled up into one big ball of fun

Liable to burst into tears at any moment

Sobbing uncontrollably

Coming to the realization that realizations are overrated

Standing in snow butthole high to a tall giraffe

Desperate for attention

FIRED!

Obviously dealing with a few issues

A little cranky

A bit dysfunctional

Never broken

JaguarRose is NOT…

Suicidal

A lesbian

A whore

A home wrecker

A Nazi

Good at checkers

The best decision maker

Crazy

Completely sane

Here for your entertainment

Paying attention to you

Fully awake

JaguarRose recommends…

Adding E&J to your hot chocolate

Sticking your foot in your mouth at any time

Napping whenever possible

That you shut the hell up

Running the other way when you see her coming

JaguarRose NEEDS…

A nap

A swift kick in the ass

To know someone loves her

To shut the hell up

You to understand

To get her shit together

To get laid

Another chance to get it right

To go grocery shopping

To clean her bathroom

JaguarRose says…

“Excuse me for a moment, I have to run out back and hang myself”

“Keep smiling”

“Never let them see you cry”

“Shut the hell up!”

“Don’t worry, everything will be okay”

“I’m sorry that you suck”

“It’s all my fault”

JaguarRose thinks…

Beavis & Butthead are hilarious

Sushi is delicious

You are cute

You are stupid

You should shut the hell up

Perhaps it is time to up the dosage

It’s time to let it go and move on     

JaguarRose can’t…

Find her panties

Keep her story straight

Remember how to tie her shoes

Keep a man

Seem to lose these last 10 lbs

Remember where she put the keys to her chastity belt

Make him love her

Believe she just said that

JaguarRose WISHES…

She was taller

She had a faster metabolism

He would call

He would care

You would shut the hell up

For 3 more wishes

She could make this all go away

JAGUARRose KEEPS…

            Coming back for more

These mistakes that you've made...

I can't change the decisions I made that lead me to this place. I can only hope that the next time I find myself in a similar situation and given similar choices my brain will prompt me to recall these moments and take a different path. It would be too easy to just tell the choices I've made. It's better, I think, that you just know that they were the wrong choices and that it's too late to undo the damage. I always hear "It's not whether or not you get knocked down, it's what you do when you get back up." Well, I'm down...

Where Do I Know You From?

I always make a habit of remembering the names of people who've seen me naked.
Dumb ass.

Eat To Live

I love to eat. I live to eat. And now the ones I love most suffer for my obsession. My life revolves around my stomach. Longing for the next time I can shove something salty and deep fried into my mouth. Covered in cheese, processed meats dripping with tangy sauces. Oh and the wonderful carbohydrates! Bread bread bread!! And PASTA! Yes Lord! Those are my food groups. Carbs, starch, processed meats, cheese and anything deep fried and/or dripping in some tangy sauce. That's why I'm fat and dangerously out of shape. I got too good at ignoring that little voice that says, "you've had enough." 225lbs and 5'6" tall. Maybe if I was a man and 6'2"... Geez, how the hell did I let it get this bad?? I gotta do better. Now.

Stealing Home

For the last week I've been deliberately showing the previous week's trail-pass to the conductor just to see if they noticed. So far no one has. One of these days I'm gonna work up the nerve to just not buy one.